Dear tumblr,
I apologize for the rant and venting I’m about to do in a moment. I just need to let it out before I explode in the wrong fashion. Excuse all the French and adjectives I’m about to use too. Thank you for being awesome tumblr. The one word I just want scream out to make the mounting pressure of the world ease off is fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Thats a little better. I just feel down and so confused and hurt all at once right now. Its hard to talk to her cause it just feels like later on it will lead to a fight. Id love to speak freely and worry about it in the moment rather it be said a little later. Its like speaking to some one and everything is all fine until you leave and then everything you said just bothered the other person and they waited till you left to tell you. Am I mad yes and frustrated. I speak through tones of my voice to communicate. I just like dealing with things then and there not later. What happens is when it is mentioned later is anger is built over time? Thats unhealthy to do. I miss being able to be care free and just being funny. I don’t like being tense. I just feel tense for some reason. I miss being able to do some of things like we use to with out worrying if its going to be bad later. I’m going to try and not say what I’m going to do and just do it. If you don’t like it tell me and I’ll be glad to stop. If it bothers you speak up a little and let me know why then. Maybe I just need sleep. That nots coming easy right now. I show my love and care the way I feel its best. I’m just going to go with the flow of things and not fight anymore. That’s how I use to do it and things were amazing. I hate the feeling being block and distanced from. Its cold and it hurts. I’m putting the phone down now to try and sleep. Thank you tumblr for listening. Sigh good night world may it be a good night full of sweet nice dreams. I’m mad at a side of my self that I’m going to fix so I won’t stay mad at my self. Your dear friend, Methos